I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
