just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
