I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
