I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
