quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
