I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize