If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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