if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
