70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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