I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
