I must be too annoying 4 u.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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