two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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