Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
