Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
