"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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