I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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