good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
