i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Fuck appropriateness.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
