i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
