Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
