Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Randomize
