sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
