I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
