and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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