When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
