the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
