y did u give ur computer a hand job?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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