He kissed a someone with a penis
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
