is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
