I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
