Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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