I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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