She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
