ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
