just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
