It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
