His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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