new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
