How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
