like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
