Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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