I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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