nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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