There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
