mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
