Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
