she looked like the bat from fern gully.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
