Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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