im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
