I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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