she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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