how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
